Well.....

Well.....


Apologies for the radio silence.   Or computer black out.   Or my absence.
However you want to look at it.

I've been anxious.

We have a new President. Watching the inauguration made me physically nauseous. I had no idea we lived in such an awful country.  The vision of the United States that our new President presented in his inaugural speech in no way resembles the United States that I live in. No matter. He is going to make it all great again.

I did not get to march the following day with the Women's March. I wanted to. Instead I spent the day in a VW Jetta with my delightful baby, Bunny, driving her back to Oxford, Mississippi.  School has resumed for her.

I was so proud of all the women and men that marched everywhere.
(A reminder: The Equal Rights Amendment has never been ratified.

For every woman who says "that march was not for me, it does not represent my values, I am free and can do what I want" let me make this very clear.
You can do what you want because women marched and protested for YOU in the past.
You can have control over your body because women marched and burned their bras in the sixties.
You can vote because women marched. It was a seventy year battle  to obtain that right.
You can have credit in your own name because women marched.
Most of these rights have only been guaranteed since the 1970s.   And some of them are at risk of being taken away from us.

The nice thing about a right is it is something we can exercise or not.
You don't want credit in your own name? Fine.
You don't want to vote? Fine.
You can't imagine ever needing or wanting or considering an abortion? Fine.
No one is forcing you to do any of those things.
Please do not try to take my right away from me, though.

I know women who have had abortions and you do, too. You may not realize it, but you do. Of the many people I know that have exercised this right, not one says they regret it. It was the right thing at the right time and they were grateful to be able to make that choice. It was their right.

I also know women who had to leave school to give a baby up for adoption because society wouldn't condone an out of wedlock baby. They had no choice at the time. Society and family ruled their lives and there were no legal options.
I don't know anyone who has given up a baby and was happy about it but I'm sure there are many- just not in my circle. And absolutely the babies that have been adopted have given great joy to their families.

I had an earnest chat with a woman when I worked at the coffee shop who had her best friend die after having an illegal abortion. She bled to death. In the United States of America. She had no choice, no right.

I also know teenage mothers that kept and raised their babies and married the daddies and are living happy wonderful productive lives.  That was their choice and their right.

See? Everyone can do what they want and what works for them. Let's keep it that way.

So I didn't march but I will in the future. Peaceful protest brings about change.

Stand up for your convictions.  

But I digress.

In the past ten days-two weeks, the new President has made some changes. Some of these changes are making people nervous. Making other countries nervous. But he's also making some people happy.

But mostly people are angry. Even the happy ones. Angry at what the President is doing. Angry at the people who don't like what he is doing. Angry at the news. Angry about the truth. Angry about the lies.

Anger is fueling the protests. Anger is also fueling name calling and rudeness and the dissemination of lies, alternative facts, half truths and sometimes even, yes, the truth.

Stand up for your convictions.

What can we do?
How can we manage this anger and turn it into something positive? And I'm not speaking just to the left or the right. I want to address everyone.

First.   Be informed.
Read real news.   Real journalists share the real truth as best they can. Which means read and listen to and  watch time honored news sources that are committed to telling the whole story, whether it's one you like or not.
Probably even more enlightening would be to sample some of the foreign news agencies.  Americans in general tend to think the sun rises and sets on our country only. Listening to another country's take on our politics can be eye opening.
Some options:
Independent news sources
Most neutral
For the most fun, Monday through Friday: the Skimm


Second.  Take action.
Don't like what's going on in politics? Take positive, legal action. Call or write your representatives. Go to their offices. Share your feelings calmly, clearly and repeatedly.  These are our elected officials.
The Constitution starts with  "We the people...".
Find your representatives here.



Third. Be kind.
Remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Pissing someone off rarely inspires them to do what you want.
And goodness knows we can all use a little kindness.

Start small. Start with your own little world. Say please and thank you. Let someone go ahead of you in line. Start your letters with "dear" and end with "sincerely" or "love".  Even those angry letters to your representatives. Be respectful. Even to those who may not deserve your respect.
Take the higher ground.

Here are some oldies from my original list that pertain to kindness and sharing:
No. 26: Send a thank you note every Wednesday
No. 42: Do a charity walk
No. 47: Pay for someone else's coffee, meal, toll   (also here)


And...

Just as a back up....

Get your passport in order.




I was going to add happy nonsensical images just to lighten this piece up, but...no.
Next week I will be back to my usual nonsensical patter.

Things...

Things I Am Thankful For 
and That Make Me Happy...


First off, Tuesday and Thursday postings seem to have shifted.  Now they are coming up on Wednesdays and Fridays more and more so you know what? We are just going to roll with that. Expect me on Wednesdays and Fridays now.  Flexibility is important, at any age.


Many things recently that I have been thankful for, grateful for or have just made me happy.
In no particular order:

Disney World:
Over Spring Break Bunny stayed with Belle and they drove to Disney World for a few days.

Love the Runaway Train.

Their second morning they were in a restaurant before heading to the parks. As they seated themselves, they realized someone had left a bag at the table. They told an employee, sat with the bag and waited to see if someone would return for it. Eventually the owner came for the bag.

The Disney restaurant employee then came to their table and asked if they had Fast Passes. They assured him they did and he said "Well, then you can use these." and handed them V.I.P. Fast Passes which allowed them into any ride without waiting, with no time restrictions and no rides excluded.   They were nice girls, did the right thing and were rewarded. So many times good deeds go unnoticed. It made their day and also made their day more fun. (Does that make sense? It made them happy and made them have even more fun than they would have in the first place. If that's possible at the Happiest Place on Earth!)

And a special bit of thankfulness goes to my brother who fronted us the airline points to get Miss Bunny off to Florida and me to visit with the parents.

Friends:
The girls had so much fun over Spring Break that Belle was worn out and finally got sick. Very sick.
Two Urgent Care visits, one regular doctor and one specialist sick. Ten days sick.  Belle is probably my hardiest child. She never runs a fever. She seldom gets sick at all.  And she was 2000 miles away.

So I am grateful for the friends who emailed me every morning while I was totally fretting about my baby. "How's she doing this morning?" "Is there anything I can  do?" "What did the doctor say?"

I am grateful for the friend who called and said "I checked flights for you in case you need to go there."  

I am very grateful for the friend (the former airline employee who can fly discounted standby) who sent me these messages:

Seriously. She was volunteering to fly to Florida (from Texas) to check on my Belle or fly to Colorado and stay with Bunny so I could go to Florida. Right before Easter.  Amazing.

Strangers:
Bunny works as a waitress. She's the only waitress at her restaurant which usually isn't a problem, but sometimes it is. The place is big and can get busy, although usually it doesn't on the weeknights that she is there.

Last Thursday, it got busy. She seated six large tables and then one lonely couple came in.  Bunny knew that the big tables wouldn't notice if the couple's food came out first, but the couple might really get tired of waiting for six other tables to be served before they got their food.  So she moved the couple's ticket up front to be served first.

She was busy but said she managed. Finally she got a break and sat down to sort her tickets.
She noticed the couple talking to her boss and went over, concerned there was a problem. Instead she was handed this:

A $100 tip on a $19.40 tab. And the nicest note ever. She said she cried. The couple cried. The money was great but truly I think she was overwhelmed by the note.  So a very big thank you to kind strangers.

Spring:
I've hated to say it before now, but I think Spring is really here. Things are greening up although not quite blooming yet. But the tulips and daffodils are sending up shoots.

Bunny went to school in shorts today.
When I go out this afternoon, I will be wearing flip flops. Because I can!

Carlos is grateful, too. He's been spending a lot of time on the decks, basking in the sun. I've been out there with him quite a bit, myself. It's lovely.

Watching for squirrels in the sun.

And with Spring comes flowers, although as I said, not in my yard yet.
But these are on my table:

The entire house smells divine because of these beauties.

Delivered by this nice young man:

Bunny's friend brought flowers for me and a bunny for Bunny when he showed up, spiffily dressed I might add, on Easter morning for breakfast.
Let me throw in that I am also very grateful for well raised young men, period.

Work:
Work is dignity and freedom and (a tiny bit of) money. It's also mind blowingly entertaining!
I love my regulars. They light up my life. Honest.
I love the weirdos who were out in full force yesterday. "Yea, I'm 53. Just sold my old Chevy truck for this Ford Fusion. Want to see the engine?"  Seriously? Do I LOOK like I want to see the engine of your car? Then he told me about all of the isolated places he used to live, off the grid, in the back country. (Probably the same places that the bodies of the unsuspecting souls who DID look at his engine are buried.)
I love reporting to my daughters, who both work for tips, exactly how much I make each day. Fortunately I am paid a decent wage and am NOT working for tips.
Yesterday I got $1.56 in tips.
It gives them a good laugh.


So there you have it.
What has been making your day recently?