Using that Voice I'm Working on Finding

Using my Voice...



I tried last week to write about finding my voice, but couldn't get it together. My friend Dee brought up that it's not really the finding of your voice but it's the learning to USE your voice that's the challenge.

The finding my voice/using my voice struggle came to light recently with an issue at work.  One  Mucky Muck insisted I do something I had no power to do, then when I didn't do it immediately, he went over my head to a Head Honcho, who went to another Grand Poobah, and then down to his Minion (who was still over me as I am the low woman on the totem pole) and she came back to me and said "do that one thing you have no power to do".*  I was furious. I stewed. Finally I suggested that if they wanted this done and they were going to go over my head, maybe they should just handle it themselves rather than reporting to each other and then coming back to me. Or...here's an idea. Speak to the person directly who can actually do what you want. I was furious at being told to handle something that I had no power to handle.

So I used my voice, but not as effectively as I probably could have. And that's what I want to work on. Rather than stewing.
Because using your voice is reclaiming your power. Your dominion over yourself. I know I am the low person in the hierarchy and I am ok with that. Everyone starts somewhere.  But treat me with respect. Acknowledge what I can do and don't expect me to do something that I can not.

And once I find that voice and use it, don't you dare tell me to "lower" it. When my voice gets loud, I am well aware of it. My voice is high and it carries. B.F.D. If it's loud, it's because I want to be heard. Being told to "lower your voice" is essentially saying "I don't want to hear what you are saying".  It makes my blood boil.

Which brings me to the Grammys. If you did not see Kesha's performance, watch it now. There is a woman who has found her voice.  Her song "Praying" was the perfect response to years of abuse and exploitation by her former producer.  Emotional and fierce, she took the high road and instead of wishing he explode in flames...she just suggested maybe he should be praying he didn't. She is a woman who has taken back her power.



So here's to all of us, women and men, finding and using our voices. Communicate. Interact. Listen.

More communication cannot be bad. Even if it's loud.

*Caveat: I love my job. This was one bad experience. For the most part everyone has been beyond kind, helpful and considerate. The problem started with someone from outside my company. And I handled it. Not as smoothly as I would have liked, but I'm satisfied with my response.