04 May 2024


Endings and beginnings and in between....




Today is the Kentucky Derby. 

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, a totally American holiday that parades as a Mexican one. 

Monday is my daughter and her husband's first anniversary. 

A week from tomorrow is Mother's Day. 

A great niece graduates soon from High School.   

It's a busy month.   

A year ago this weekend. 
Aren't they darling?

Also, this coming Wednesday, I leave for Florida and then to Saint Thomas. Traveling with both daughters and the son-in-law, we will water taxi to Saint John and board a catamaran that will then take us through the British Virgin Islands. I joke that the SIL is taking his "harem".   He knew when he married Belle that he was getting a "sister wife"-the little sister that comes along for everything. Bless his heart, that did not deter him and he has graciously (mostly) included her in many trips, parties, meals and more meals.  I got a text from him saying it was "my turn in the rotation" to come along for a trip. Wait! What? There's a rotation? If I had known, I would have signed up earlier.  Anyway, I'm spoiled/fortunate/lucky AF.


This will be "home" next week


But. This trip also could not come at a better time. After a lovely trip to Texas to see the eclipse (where apparently we were in the only cloud covered area of the U.S.), I made the decision to end my five year long distance relationship. Love the man dearly but we had opposing agendas and there was no way forward. We wanted different things. It was time. I knew it. But still, it leaves a void. 


Texas was beautiful but clouds everywhere. 


Then last week Mina Kitty quit eating. She started hiding in the corner of the office. The kitty box was intentionally missed. Weight was obviously lost.  

A visit to the vet gave me all sorts of options.  She will be 16 in July which is a ripe old age for any cat, even more impressive for a kitty that has been in renal failure for the last 3 years.  I went with Plan B which was treat the symptoms and see if she recovers. She spent a few hours getting antibiotics and IV fluids along with some pain meds and came home much perkier. She even ate a bit last night. This morning she isn't quite so chipper.  She licked up a bit of baby food and is doing her best bread box impression here in the corner of the office.    


Mina with a captured catnip toy


Plan C was multiple diagnostic tests and labs, not feasible for a kitty of this age. I have opted for "above and beyond" in attempting to keep animals alive before and it isn't fair to them. Never again.


Which leads me to Plan A.  Plan A is euthanasia which I'm afraid is where we are headed. This is complicated by my impending departure. Do I put her down possibly a week sooner than needed to spare the house sitter the worry? Is that fair? Am I giving her enough opportunity to recover?  Or do I leave her with the nice house/petsitter who will possibly have to make that decision?  But that isn't fair to Mina either. She deserves to have me with her in her final moments.  



Using up one of her nine lives? 

Is she in pain? Some, I think.   It's hard to tell with cats. I know she is feeling off. SHE knows something is wrong.  So does Carlos who is also getting older, himself. His eyes are clouding with cataracts and his hearing is fading. He sleeps like a dead dog and sleeps a lot. But Carlos, who has always been afraid of Mina, has been hanging close to her.  When she walks by, he sniffs her head.  I've seen him do it multiple times. What can he sense that I can't?  


Six months ago they wouldn't be in the same room, 
much less this close.
You can see how skinny she is under all that fur. 
Six pounds, down from nine.


Hard decisions. 

And Mother's Day. It's coming up and I'm realizing I no longer have a mother. Cards are everywhere. Gift lists are everywhere. As my brother says "We are orphans".  As such, I'm feeling the loss of my mom who was a steady presence for almost 68 years of my life. 


Me with JeanMom-probably on a Mother' Day


So. An exciting week coming up for sure. But I'm also feeling a lot of loss. 

Which leads us to this post.  My SIL (How fun that is to type! Trying to come up with a good nickname for him...) has requested that I blog about our trip every day. A document of our adventures, like an old fashioned diary or a travel postcard home.  I must admit he was/is probably my most ardent blog reader.


I'm starting here. I'll get through the kitty dilemma and hug Carlos goodbye and hop on a plane.


As they say, when one door closes, another opens.


Can't wait to see what is beyond that doorway...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This resonates on so many levels old cats with renal disease, musing my mom on Mother’s Day….as they say, aging isn’t for sissies But it beats the alternative. The first losses hit hard and then Waze, this is the phase of life I’m in now. There’s going to be more loss than there has been before.

SIL said...

Some of my favorite reading. Excited for our adventure

Anonymous said...

So glad to be reading your writing again. So often it gives me a laugh, but today with that some sadness. Saying goodbye and that void that’s left sucks. That’s all there is to it, but a lovely trip with everyone will be a much needed diversion. Yes all this will be there but I prescribe margaritas, any kind, STRONG. A.N. As needed.
Big hugs
CRB

Diana @ Your Day Simplified said...

Losing your mother is always an empty space in your soul. As with most loss, you never get "over" it but you do learn to live with it. I know you will make the right decision about Mina. She has been with you for a loong time!
I'm very proud of you for making the decision to move on from your 5 year relationship. Now you have made room for a new relationship to move in to that space!!!
And I look forward to reading your blog from the blue waters! Hope you have a fantastic time!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey ole friend! I love your blog…so many shared/common thoughts. I had a beloved dog, Mackie the Dream Bahr. Her kidneys failed and I kept her alive with IV treatments for 6 months. The last week was horrible for her and I kept thinking that I was doing the right thing by keeping her alive…but I was doing it for me. My son who is a vet always says that it is better to help them go to sleep two days early rather than two seconds too late! It is hard! Thinking about you!