04 August 2015

No.43: Get that Colonoscopy

No. 43: Done!

Today's post is your PSA for the day.

No. 43:Get that Colonoscopy is done!

For obvious reasons (no one says this is lots of fun) I have been putting this off. For years. 

The CDC and the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommend colorectal cancer screening starting at age 50. My doctor started recommending a colonoscopy to be done by age 55. From 55 on, he hounded me. "Had that colonoscopy yet? Here's a recommendation." And every year I didn't do it. Age 60 is the "You better do this or you will die a gruesome death" deadline.
Anyway, I put it on my list. So I had to. 

 While I was in Texas I scheduled my appointment.

The night before is the not so fun stuff. Prep. Horrid horrid liquid gagged down in big gulps followed by lots and lots  of water. And then..... Whatever. You all know. 

The morning of Bunny was my designated driver. A last minute review of the instructions stated clearly "You must have someone drive you and stay in the office. Drivers must be age 18 or older." Oops. I yelled at Bunny to put some make up on and act older. Chronologically she's only 17 but she acts older than most 20 year olds. The hubs was put on notice in case there was an emergency and/or Bunny got carded. 

Feeling ten pounds lighter, we arrived at the doctor's office and passed check in. While waiting in pre-op I got to eavesdrop on all the other patients. The doctor is a Latino and so were most of his patients. Spanish was flying all around me. Love love love that I can speak and understand another language. I'm a little rusty but that morning it was fun trying to see how much I could comprehend. Lots apparently. I'm sure the women in the cubicle next to me would be horrified that I now know so much about her intestines. 

Then it was my turn. Count down from 30 and ....
This is what I remember:

Voices floated into my consciousness and for some reason I tried to whistle. I don't know how to whistle. Eventually I managed a sound and the nice nurse came over. "I hear voices. Am I supposed o be awake?"   Why yes, I was. All done. Feeling wonderfully rested, I waited for the doc to come over. That Propofol is a wonderful drug. I see why Michael Jackson loved it. 

Dr. Trabanino appeared, declared that I had the colon of a 30 year old and released me. 

The best part?  I'm good to go for another ten years. 

I'm counting on the pharmaceutical companies to come up with an improved prep by then.

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